The magic of bonding between children and parents

The Magic and Secrets of Bonding between Children and Parents

Bonding is the building of positive relationships with your child. Bonding between children and parents is an important aspect of a child’s growing up years. Developing an emotional connection between yourself and your kids as they grow up directly determines the closeness of your family as the years’ pass.

Did you know this?

When your child is a baby, bonding is primarily driven by nature. Bonding is an intense drive of attachment between parents and kids. It is this bonding between children and parents that drives a parent to shower unconditional love for their kids, protect them and provide for their needs. Hormones are key drivers of this deep-seated bonding.

Infants bond with their mother through the process of nursing. Toddlers bond with their parents by relying on their senses. Relationships between toddlers and parents are driven by sight, the smell of parents and the soothing touch of their parents.

Cooking, travelling and playing together can all be creative ways to increase the bonding between parents and toddlers.

However, be aware

Bonding between child and parent during the festive season
Bonding between child and parent during the festive season

As kids age and pass through their teenage or adolescence years, the attachment between them and their parents undergoes a change. It is driven more by the emotional connect and trust that underlines their relationship with their parents.

This attachment needs to be nurtured and tuned to mature as the kids grow up. Parents need to invest their personal time into ensuring that this nurturing happens for the relationships between them and their children to stay strong. You will need to shower love on your kids, correct them when they go wrong and make them feel that you are there for them at all times.

The #attachment between #parents and #teenagers is driven more by the #emotional connect and trust. How do you build that? #education Click To Tweet

Bonding requires sacrifices


Children can be expressive in their urge to bond. They will insist you participate in games with them, help them with their studies, share food with them, travel with them and so on. It is usually the parents who refuse by stating a lack of time and trying hard not to look silly.

Bonding between children and parents -  A Dad and child at the beach sharing each other's company

Bonding between children and parents – A Dad and child at the beach sharing each other’s company

Importance of bonding between children and their parents

The strength of child-parent connections can be directly correlated to the happiness and the feeling of oneness among family members. Both Long Term and Short Term benefits accrue

Long Term Benefits of Parents-Kids Bonding

Acts as the ultimate confidence booster

A strong positive relationship or emotional connection provides a wonderful boost of confidence to the child. When the child knows that she has been given the space to try, fail and still have someone support and watch her back provides security. A child who feels secure has no inhibition in trying out new things.

Kids learn empathy

Kids who enjoy a strong sense of connection with their parents learn by close observation of the habits of their parents. They learn to be sensitive to the needs to others, empathize with fellow human beings by watching and mimicking their parents’ behaviour.

A #child who feels secure has no inhibition in trying out new things. How do you provide security to your kids? #education, #parents Click To Tweet

Socially better-equipped kids

Kids who are confident and emotionally balanced can also handle social situations better. They also are more adept at handling negative peer pressure. They have a clear sense of right versus wrong. This makes them socially more versatile. It also positively reinforces their ability to stay confident.

Handle Stress Better

Kids with strong family ties demonstrate better stress handling abilities. They are better able to deal with negative emotions under pressure situations. This is driven by the fact that they are confident and have well adjusted social skills.

Bonding between children and parents - A Dad and  his daughter enjoying a morning walk together
Bonding between children and parents – A Dad and his daughter enjoying a morning walk together

Short Term Benefits of Parents-Kids Bonding

In the short term, reinforcing the association between parents and kids provides security to kids, prevents them from withdrawing into their shells and prepares them to work for the family as a unit. Bonding also infuses kids with a positive send of self-worth.

Bonding between parents and children – Common Mistakes

Mistake #1 – Parents often trivialize bonding.

As long as the children and we are staying under the same roof, we definitely will be bonding naturally. We talk, exchange smiles and enquire about each other’s day. Does it not count?

Sadly, it does not.

Building positive relationships with another individual takes dedicated efforts and time. The same is true within the family too. As parents, you need to keep aside your tasks and engage with your kids. Kids should feel that their parent is completely involved with them for the duration of the activity. Kids should feel that you as a parent are genuinely interested in them.

This cannot happen with just small or casual talk. Everybody is nice and polite during a casual talk. Bonding is not about being nice. It involves being a part of your kids’ lives in a way that makes a difference to them. Over the years, your bonding activities with your kids should inspire them to look up to you for advice and guidance.

#Bonding is not just about being 'nice #parents'. It involves being a part of your #kids’ lives in a way that makes a difference to them. Discover the secrets of bonding. #education Click To Tweet

Mistake #2 – Assuming that money can take the place of bonding

I spend and cater to all the needs of my kids. They too appreciate me for all the spending I do on them. I get them the best dress material, fancy toys and the choicest of goodies to eat. My kids love me and shower affection on me. If this is not bonding, what is?

Again, wrong notion.

Providing for your children’s needs and fancies will get them excited, no doubt. However, as the kids step into their teenage years, the allure of materialistic things disappears. It is slowly replaced by the need for emotional security.

If you do not listen to the little things when your kids are small, they will not tell you the big things when they grow big. #education #parents Click To Tweet

As Emotional Quotient (EQ) of a teenager grows, they look out for someone to share their fears, their insecurities and thrills. The only person they will confide in is somebody who has been a big part of their life in terms of spending quality time with them. Spending time with kids has proven to help them cope with stress and distress, especially among teenagers.

If you do not listen to the little things when your kids are small, they will not tell you the big things when they grow big.

Ok, I understand. How can I start bonding with my children?

Bonding between children and parents - A Mother with her kids at a park bench enjoying nature
Bonding between children and parents – A Mother with her kids at a park bench enjoying nature

It is never too late to start bonding with your kids. What matters is the genuine concern in you to be a big part of their lives, in ways that matter to them.

For kids below 12 years,

Playtime is important.

Bond with your children over a game of hopscotch, or a game of soccer or a simple game of hide and seek.

They love stories.

Narrate a story every night to your kids every evening or at bedtime. No matter how busy your schedule is, keep aside 1 hour for your kids every evening. Make it the one hour they look forward in their whole day

Kids love exploration.

Go camping, hiking, nature walking, cycling, trekking with your children. Teach them a trick or two. Establish yourself as a person they can turn to for advice.

For teenagers,

Adolescents are eager to discover a purpose in their life.

They long to establish their own unique identity. Join hands with your children to help them uncover a hobby or a passion that they love.

Yearn for meaningful responsibilities.

Take them out with you to your workplace or business. Seek out their advice actively. They are usually tech savvy. Ask their opinion from a digital perspective. Give them a free hand implementing their ideas. Temper their enthusiasm with your wisdom.

They are testing new relationships.

Share with them possible situations they might find themselves in. Share experience from your teenage years. Listen keenly to what teenagers have to say.

Final word,
Ultimately bonding is about how you want to be a key part of your kids’ lives throughout their lives. Anything you do to enhance this intent will serve in developing positive relationships with them.

Most importantly, do share other bonding tips in the comments below. Share the article if you feel enriched.

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